Competition TV exploiting immigrants: the latest pitch for Trump's dystopian sideshow.

We must get the American public to look past the glitter, beyond the showmanship, to the reality, the hard substance of things. And we'll do it not so much with speeches that will bring people to their feet

as with speeches that bring people to their senses.

-- Mario Cuomo

By J. Basil Dannebohm

In the mid-2000s, Donald Trump’s business ventures were hemorrhaging millions. He was on the verge of losing his ability to exploit a loophole that enabled him to avoid paying taxes. That’s when NBC stepped in and offered the failed businessman a reality series called The Apprentice.

Since then, Mr. Trump has seemingly adopted a line from a well-known play as his motto: “All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.”

The phrase from Shakespeare's “As You Like It” has become a deranged sort of standard operating procedure for the 47th president’s administration.

In the early months of the second Trump presidency, David Zaslav, CEO of Warner Bros. Discovery, revealed that the company (which owns news giant CNN) sought advice from the White House on how to better align itself with the administration. It was suggested by the senior officials in the West Wing that Donald Trump Jr. “might be a good fit for a hunting and fishing show on the Discovery Channel.”

The media corporation was reportedly advised to follow the lead of American oligarch Jeff Bezos, owner of the Washington Post, who directed its editorial team to increase pro-Trump opinion pieces. Bezos, who also serves as the Executive Chairman of Amazon, likewise played a key role in striking a $40 million deal with Melania Trump for a documentary about her life. In late March, Amazon Prime began streaming reruns of Trump's career saving reality series, The Apprentice.

Over at the Department of Homeland Security, Kristi Noem is reportedly “backing” a dystopian proposal for a reality series in development under the title “The American.”

The 35-page program pitch was written by Rob Worsoff, known for his work on reality shows including Duck Dynasty, The Millionaire Matchmaker, and Dating Naked. The Hunger Games-esque concept pits immigrants against each other in a competition for U.S. citizenship.

According to the proposal, 12 contestants would arrive at New York’s Ellis Island aboard “The Citizen Ship,” where they would be welcomed by a “famous, naturalized American” host. Colombian-born Sofia Vergara, Canadian-born Ryan Reynolds, and Ukrainian-born Mila Kunis are floated as potential hosts.

The working concept suggests that contestants travel across the country aboard a train called "The American,” competing in regionally specific “cultural” contests. Some of the challenges include launching a rocket at Cape Canaveral, clam-digging in Maine, mining for gold in San Francisco, balancing on logs in Wisconsin, assembling a Model-T Ford in Detroit, and delivering mail on horseback in Kansas.

The document notes that contestants who are eliminated as the series progresses can pursue the traditional citizenship process.

The show’s proposed finale involves the winner being sworn in as an American citizen on the steps of the U.S. Capitol Building by “a top American politician or judge” as the U.S. Air Force Thunderbirds fly overhead.

As obscene, absurd, and degrading as the concept sounds, it’s precisely the firebrand garbage the MAGA cult devours in spades.

A spokesperson for the Department of Homeland Security acknowledged that the show’s concept is being considered by the agency but denied that Ms. Noem was involved in the process.

The potential dystopian reality series comes as Noem’s leadership, or lack thereof, faces increased criticism. The secretary has frequently been accused of “cosplaying” her role as head of the department. Her “many photo ops and costume changes,” have earned her leadership approach a “made-for-TV” label. In late February, a series of “Thank You, Mr. President” and immigration crackdown commercials hit national airwaves with Noem featured front and center.

Last week, a meeting of the House Appropriations Subcommittee on Homeland Security revealed that the U.S. Coast Guard made a last-minute change to its 2025 budget to secure a new $50 million private jet for Noem's personal use.

Under Mr. Trump’s “big, beautiful” budget proposal, DHS would see a 64.9% budget increase, providing the department with $107.4 billion for the fiscal year starting October 1st. Though department funding would increase, the so-called "skinny budget" would slash $491 million from the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency and reduce funding for TSA screening operations by $247 million. Noem has likewise vowed to significantly limit spending at the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA).

Earlier this year, DHS eliminated funding for programs created by the Biden administration aimed at studying online radicalization. Under DOGE, the administration has been eliminating contracts related to combating domestic terrorism.

Under Noem's leadership, the Department of Homeland Security is on track to exceed its current allocated budget by July 2025. Perhaps that explains her infamous $60,000.00 Rolex?

But alas, the "show" must go on.