A 'rear' view of the 2026 midterms.
It would be remiss of me not to preface this week’s column with an admission: I was wrong. Unlike politicians, when I am in error, I own it. This might explain, at least in part, why I loathed being a politician.
Yes, I was wrong.
I predicted a blue trickle, and it was a freakin’ tsunami. I predicted a six-point victory for a certain Republican incumbent who ended up getting his posterior handed to him. (Note: Previous columns have proven that were I to call out his grift much less mention his name, several newspapers in my home state, with a bizarre sense of loyalty to the soon-to-be FORMER Senator, will refuse to publish me.)
Boy, was I ever wrong about the midterms.
Speaking of posteriors, they seemed to be the focus of the Trump administration on the campaign trail.
At a rally in North Platte, Nebraska, Vice President JD Vance said, "This Democrat Party, ladies and gentlemen, it needs an ass kicking. Excuse my language."
The language doesn't bother me; it's the blatant hypocrisy I can’t stomach. This is the same guy who self-righteously declared that violent leftist rhetoric led to the death of Charlie Kirk and called for Democrats to “tone it down.”
Granted, as 2028 approaches Vance is banking on voter amnesia, hoping that we will forget the plethora of contradictory statements he’s made throughout his milquetoast political career.
‘Dear Leader’ wasn’t concerned about the economy, the ongoing war, or the reckless tariffs ‘butt’ he was interested in “ass.”
During a rally in Port Huron, Michigan, Mr. Trump said, “I looked at [Husted’s] ass, and I’ve never done that with a man before. Off the record: Women yes, men no. By the way, I looked at one hell of a beautiful ass before, Nicki Minaj. That’s hard to miss. I hope Nicki wasn’t insulted, but we love Nicki. She’s been with us for a long time.”
The President continued.
“I’ve been living with this whole thing about the ass. And believe me, it’s of no interest to me other than to say John Husted is one hell of an athlete. I’d say that about your ass, too, Mike [Rogers], if it gets you a guaranteed victory. I’ll do anything because we got to get you in.”
He offered further posterior analysis in Texas, noting that Ken Paxton’s backside wasn’t to his liking. In Iowa, Trump suggested that Ashley Hinson’s appearance met his misogynistic, sexist standards, pointing out that the senate candidate had lost weight.
“She did that for you,” he exclaimed.
“She knew the weight that was on her, really literally the weight, and she knew the importance of what she was doing,” Trump continued.
In the end, Husted’s ass was shown the door. Paxton, Hinson, and Rogers likewise lost their respective races.
As for Nikki Minaj?
She’s still not an American citizen, though ICE has yet to deport her 'ass.'
While the timing was purely coincidental, I feel it incumbent upon me to share that in the early morning hours of election day, I underwent a colonoscopy. Everything went well, though none of the staff made it a point to regale me with compliments about my South-Forty.
Three nurses, however, did say my hair looked flawless.
Not even Helen Keller would say that about Trump.
If I had a nickel for every time that members of the White House Press Office have said, “President Trump is the unequivocal leader, best messenger, and unmatched motivator for the Republican Party," I could write every American a check for $5000.
In the days following the blue tsunami, the tone changed.
“Moving forward, the President will work with anyone willing to advance solutions that strengthen our economy. We hope Democrats will put the American people first and join us in that effort,” a member of the press office said in a statement.
Strengthen our economy, indeed.
Under Donald Trump, families have been forced to spend an additional $3800 annually on average for everyday essentials. Meanwhile, billionaires, including Trump and his children, collectively saw their wealth increase by $1.5 trillion annually.
Some of the elite ruling class used a portion of their proceeds to attempt buying elections.
An estimated $11.5 billion was spent on the midterm elections with trillionaire Elon Musk spending the most at nearly $450 million. Billionaire families spent a record-breaking combined total of more than $2 billion. 113 of them gave to Republicans while 45 donated to Democrats.
Luckily, the oligarchs failed … this time.
For real change, we need to get big money and those with insatiable appetites for power out of our government. Real change begins when Citizens United is overturned and term limits are established.
Only then will American voters be able to truly tell career politicians, “On your way out, don’t let the door hit in you in the ... ass.”
